birth partner, labor pain, support person, doula, birth

When Your Partner Doesn’t Know How to Help—But Wants To

April 16, 2025•2 min read

You love your partner. They’re supportive, excited, and in this with you. But when it comes to birth prep and labor support, you might be realizing something:

They want to help—but they’re not quite sure how, and that is a little unsettling for you.

Maybe they freeze when you bring up labor. Maybe they ask what kind of snacks to pack—but avoid the deeper questions. Maybe they’re worried about saying or doing the wrong thing.

Here’s the truth: This is so common.

Most partners don’t grow up around birth. They want to show up for you, but they weren’t taught what that actually looks like. So instead of stepping in, they sometimes hang back—not out of disinterest, but out of uncertainty.

And here’s the beautiful part: The fact that they want to support you means everything.

They don’t have to know everything right now. That’s where preparation, communication, and support come in.

At Bellies-2-Babies, one of our favorite things to do is help partners feel ready and valued. We help them understand:

What to expect during labor (and what’s normal)
How to offer physical comfort (think counterpressure and breathing cues)
How to tune into your emotional needs
When to ask questions and advocate with confidence
And most importantly—how to just be there in the ways that count

Whether it’s through our birth classes or doula support, we gently guide your partner to feel confident in their role. They don’t have to be an expert on birth - that's our job; but they are an expert on you and that's why we make a good team.

When a partner feels prepared, you feel more supported.

You can breathe deeper. You can lean in. And you can face labor together as a true team.

Start with our FREE resource: The Calm & Confident Birth Prep Checklist

Then if you feel like you need an expert to bounce ideas off of - request a FREE Discovery Call

Want your partner to feel more confident and connected for labor and birth? Explore our birth classes and doula packages for the ultimate in support - for BOTH of you!

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Janet Farmer

Janet Farmer is a seasoned birth professional with over 30 years of experience as a Certified Birth Doula, Childbirth Educator, and Doula Trainer. She is the owner of Bellies-2-Babies Doula Agency and the founder of The Doulas’ Mentor. Janet is passionate about supporting families through the journey into parenthood, as well as training and guiding new and aspiring Birth Doulas in building thriving, sustainable businesses. When she's not teaching Birth Classes, attending a birth or mentoring Doulas, Janet enjoys slow mornings with coffee on the porch, spending time with her hubby, adult children and 11 grandchildren, and beach time.

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